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MySQL Paradise – Percona Live Lightning Talk

 | April 25, 2013 |  Posted In: Tokutek, TokuView

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Thanks to all of those who came to the lightning talks this evening. We’ve got the audio posted here and the lyrics below.

A special thanks to Erin Grace O’Malley O’Neill for the great performance. Thanks also to @NuoDB and @geobdz (whose photo is below) for tweets.

Stay tuned for the video as well….


MySQL Paradise

As I browse through the archive where I keep all my code
I look at my software and see it’s very old
But that’s just perfect for a hacker like me
You know I shun fancy things like agility

At 4:30 in the morning I’m writing code
Zardosht debugs and Richard builds, fool
And I’ve been building and debugging so long
Even Monty think’s that my mind is gone

I like high performance and test discipline
I’ve got a man page in my hand and gprof on my screen
But if I finish my builds and you finish thine
Tonight we’ll party like we survived 1999.

We’ve been spending most our lives hacking in MySQL paradise
I’ve churned code base once or twice hacking in MySQL paradise
It’s hard work and sacrifice hacking in MySQL paradise
We write code at discount price hacking in MySQL paradise

We’ve been spending most our lives hacking in MySQL paradise
We’ve been spending most our lives hacking in MySQL paradise
We’ve been spending most our lives hacking in MySQL paradise
We’ve been hacking most our lives living in MySQL paradise.


MySQL Paradise Team:
Bradley Coolio Kuszmaul, Lyrics and Vocals
Luisa Botero-Wonder-Schwartz, Vocals
Erin Grace O’Malley O’Neill, Lip-Synching Chorus
Weird Christian Rober, Audio
Lawrence Yankovic-Schwartz, Producer

MySQL Paradise is based on Weird Al Yankovic’s Amish Paradise
Which is based on Coolio’s Gangsta’s Paradise
Which is based on Stevie Wonder’s Pastime Paradise

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